"Why did I do that?" How to escape repetitive negative thoughts, 'Rumination'

Everyone has likely experienced a moment where a memory they want to forget or a sharp word from someone else lingers in their mind and refuses to leave. In psychology and psychiatry, the phenomenon of tormenting oneself by repeating the same questions, such as "Why did I do that back then?" or "Why did that person say such a thing?", is called 'Rumination'. According to a video from the YouTube channel 'Jeongsingwa Uisa Noebujadeul', this rumination goes beyond simple worrying and becomes a cause that amplifies negative emotions and triggers depression and anxiety.

Negative thoughts that won't leave your head, why do they repeat?

One of the fundamental reasons rumination occurs is due to our brain's 'Negativity Bias'. For the sake of survival, the human brain is designed to remember negative information much more strongly and for a longer duration than positive information. This is because it must store information that could be a threat more effectively to prepare for danger. Therefore, no matter how much comfort is offered by those around you, the brain reacts more sensitively to a single critical situation or mistake and cannot let go of that thought.

Additionally, unresolved tasks or uncertain situations where one cannot clearly grasp the other person's intention also fuel rumination. The brain perceives these situations as a kind of 'threat' and continues to send warning signals to find an answer, causing the same thoughts to repeat. Especially in cases of strong perfectionism or severe self-criticism, even a small mistake is interpreted as a personal deficiency, leading to constant revisiting of the past in an attempt to regain a sense of control. Rather than leading to actual problem-solving, this results in repeated emotional exhaustion.

The participants in the video explain these characteristics of rumination with everyday examples. For instance, a representative form of rumination is a situation where, after hearing a careless remark from a boss, one constantly analyzes the other person's intention—asking "Is that person angry at me?" or "Was I different from usual?"—or continues to search for negative possibilities while blaming one's own actions. Even though these are past events that cannot be changed, it can lead to attempts to re-control the past situation, much like a repetitive compulsion.

The reason why thoughts come to mind more when you resolve "not to think about it"

When distressing thoughts occur, many people comfort themselves by saying, "Let's stop thinking about it now." However, the video explains that such attempts can actually have the opposite effect. Much like the examples of the 'Pink Elephant' or 'White Bear', the more one tries to suppress a specific thought, the more frequently the brain monitors that thought, resulting in that thought appearing even more vividly. In other words, the attempt to suppress the thought itself acts as a mechanism that strengthens that thought.

The criteria for distinguishing general 'worrying' from 'rumination' are also clear. Productive worrying reaches a conclusion through the question "How should I solve this?" and leads to the next action. On the other hand, rumination remains stuck in past-oriented questions like "Why did I do that?". The decisive difference is that it amplifies emotions without providing new insights or ideas and fails to lead to changes in behavior. Therefore, having many thoughts itself is not a problem, but rumination that does not lead to action can create a tendency toward depression and anxiety.

The core strategy to break the cycle of rumination, 'Distancing'

The most effective method presented to escape the shackles of rumination is 'Distancing'. This is a method that helps one avoid being swept away in a whirlwind of emotions by placing psychological distance between oneself and one's thoughts. The video introduces a specific 4-step process to practice this, emphasizing 'recognizing the rumination' as the first step.

Change begins simply by recognizing the fact that you are currently repeating the same thoughts. A process of objectively assessing the situation, such as saying, "Ah, I am tormenting myself by repeating the same thought again right now," is required. This provides a foundation to turn one's gaze, which was buried in emotion, toward the outside and view the situation one is in from a step away. Rather than simply suppressing thoughts, the core starting point of Distancing is recognizing that one is currently in a state of rumination.