Nearly Half of Dating Violence Victims Marry—How Can They Escape a Dangerous Relationship?

Most people in romantic relationships tend to have difficulty viewing negative situations objectively. A South Korean statistical survey supports this, finding that about 46.4% of dating violence victims had married. Of course, the absence of physical or verbal violence does not necessarily mean a relationship is healthy.

The Violence Hotline, a U.S. domestic violence counseling center, stated, “Trying to control or intimidate a partner is also a form of abuse. The same applies if a partner tries to check your text messages or phone, or is excessively possessive and suspicious.”

So how can someone escape a dangerous relationship?

Face reality

It is important to face reality. People can instinctively become trapped in relationships marked by repeated cycles of fighting and reconciliation. This is why breaking up can become harder the longer a couple has been together. Ask yourself questions about the relationship. Consider whether it makes you feel joy or danger, and whether your partner makes you feel depressed.

Seek counseling

Counseling is another option. First, open up to people close to you about the problem. If they respond with empathy, it is advisable to seek professional counseling. A professional counselor can help you leave a troubled relationship. However, if your partner wants to maintain the relationship as it is, you need to reassess your situation. Relationship expert Jane Greer said, “If your partner does not acknowledge their wrongdoing or responsibility, this can be seen as an indicator that the relationship is dangerous.”

Ask for help when breaking up

If necessary, ask those around you for help when ending the relationship. If your partner refuses to let you go even after you have said you are breaking up, contact parents or friends who live nearby. Highly possessive partners may wait indefinitely until you agree to meet them, and their behavior can escalate into crimes such as violence or abduction. It is safer to have someone you trust accompany you until the breakup is complete.

[FAM Times = Reporter Shim Hyun-young]